


Repetitious

by Elenielwen



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Dark, Depictions of depression, Eventual Romance, F/M, Follows canon but not, Gore, Violence, au-ish, slow realistic burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 10:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19149166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenielwen/pseuds/Elenielwen
Summary: What would you do if you got the chance to start all over again? If every choice you've ever made was erased and you got to live that life one more time, how would you react? Would you head in the same direction, or take the fork in the road and walk down an unknown path?





	Repetitious

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Raindrops](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/489190) by YoukaiYume. 



> A/N Hello guys! Let's start with saying that his is the first time since 2018 I am plunging myself into writing fanfiction once again after having been plagiarized. This is going to be a Sesshoumaru x Kagome fic, so all of you who don't like this pairing, you have been warned ;)
> 
> I always try to stick to canon, but every fanfic writer knows that canon while veering into AU isn't always easily done.. Therefore I appreciate ALL the help I can get by your lovely comments ;)
> 
> (English isn't my native language so I'm NOT perfect. If the fic has a lot of errors, tell me, but do try to be gentle when pointing them out.. constructive criticism is perfectly okay!)
> 
> Go ahead and read “Rain drops” which kickstarted my muse, the comic's free, AWESOME and INCREDIBLY well drawn!!

**DISCLAIMER :** I do NOT own Inuyasha, or any of the characters belonging to the manga or anime series. I do NOT own ANY of the events that have happened in the manga or anime and I make no profit from my fanfic! ALL of ”Inuyasha” belong to Rumiko Takahashi! 

 

_**And so the silver being of old** _

_**Shall come into his hold** _

_**and find that where life once dwelled in his mighty hall** _

_**Nothing but silence now answers his call** _

__

_**The world shall bathe in fire** _

_**Only she shall remember their ire** _

_**And so our story begins anew** _

_**with but one who has any clue** _

_**Of all that transpired** _

__

_**Cursed with the fate of being alone** _

_**Weeping, the miko would bemoan** _

_**That which she could not have** _

__

_**Burdened by the knowledge she bore** _

_**The shikon no miko followed the light** _

_**and bade her hollow world good night** _

__

_**”Kiete, shikon no tama!** **Eien ni!” – Kagome Higurashi** _

 

 

Autumn had just begun causing the ground to harden and losing its greenery as it prepared itself for the oncoming winter. Leaves and foliage had already gone yellow and orange, vibrant colours spreading like wildfire across feudal Japan.

On this particular day, the birds were quiet, too busy building nests to survive the winter to have the time or courage to sing. The forest remained eerily silent apart from the occasional rustling of falling leaves, as another rush of wind ruffled everything around it, making the foliage dance in a spiral around the seemingly sole inhabitant of such a desolate place.

 

A lone figure stood below a humongous tree, a pair of outstretched hands slightly shaking from the chill. Long midnight tresses swirled in perfect harmony with the chilly winds, body perfectly still, red and white blending into the background like it was a part of the woods themselves.

 

The person was a woman in the her prime of her life wearing the traditional priestess’ red hakama pants along with a white kosode. The long sleeves of the miko's outfit flapped in the wind as the girl remained silently staring at the holy tree in front of her, hands still stretched out towards its massive trunk.

The tree had once been named “Goshinboku” - the tree that always had been, and always would be. More than just a tree, Goshinboku symbolized many things to many people.

 

It was the tree where the miko’s saga had begun.. and she knew with a certainty that this is where her feudal fairy tale would end.

 

The priestess’ name was Kagome Higurashi, and since she was not born in the feudal times, she knew with a certainty that despite the chaos that was the warring states, the shogunate wars, the fading of the youkai with the passage of time, the tree would still remain long after she and many of her kin had passed.

 

Goshinboku would stay strong, a spiritual tree that was sacred to so many in the modern age.

 

With a shiver, Kagome ‘s hand lowered and she shivered once more before wrapping her arms around herself, shifting to put weight onto her other foot. Ad on cue, a massive raindrop landed on her nose. She blinked, then came another, and in no time, the sky seemingly opened up.

 

Biting her lower lip, Kagome blinked and gazed up at the giant tree. Long tendrils of water poured down its trunk, the leaves sagging beneath the extra weight added on them.

 

“ _Fitting_ ”, she thought as she blinked away the persistent raindrops insisting on visiting below her long eyelashes. She had no concept of time as she stood there, soon soaked to the bone, red turned vermillion, volumous black tresses spilling limply down her back.

 

Why couldn't her home’s well had connected with a more peaceful era? The Sengoku Jidai was full of strife, youkai and humans waged their wars, humans waged wars on themselves, death and sickness often spread a plague, the threat of starvation constantly breathing down the common folk’s necks. The miko let go of herself with a sigh, once again reaching out to touch the tree trunk, right hand slightly shaking as it connected with the rough bark of the tree.

 

"Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered, a broken sound followed by the stifling of a sob.

 

Gnawing on her lower lip, the miko dazedly watched as the rain poured down the trunk, her hands drenched in Mother Nature's tears.

 

Retracting her right hand to look at the palm, Kagome couldn't help but notice how calloused her hands had become due to all the manual labour she had partaken in, a constant reminder that she had been stuck for far too long in an age that she didn't belong in. Vigilantly visiting the well throughout the years, Kagome had harboured a secret hope that the well would open up one day and allow her to go home… if only for a few hours. She dearly missed her mother, brother.. even chatty grandpa and the simpleness of the modern era. 

 

_Mother._

_Souta._

_Grandpa._

_Buyo._

 

The shikon no miko put one hand against her pounding chest, clutching at the hollow feeling that rose from there.

 

_Eri._

 

_Ayumi._

_Yuka._

 

Why had the well sent her to the Sengoku Jidai in the first place? Had she truly been a part of the feudal era for _fifteen years?_

 

Time had passed much too quickly. Her name was Kagome Higurashi, yet that name had not been spoken in a very long time. Forever, it felt like at times. She was sick and tired of being referred to as ‘miko-sama’, or simply as 'shikon no miko-sama'. Everyone who once called her by the name was gone in one way or another.

 

Kagome allowed the chill of the rain to numb her aching eyes. Looking up, the miko reached out once more.

 

 _“It all started here, didn't it, Goshinboku?”_ Kagome whispered, rain dripping from her full lips.

 

 _S_ he shuddered as rain trickled down her back, closing her eyes, not paying attention to the way her body swayed on the spot in response.

 

**¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨**

 

_“Miko-sama, it's terrible, they're...” The frantic villager's words were cut off midway by a bullet piercing the woman's chest._

_With a choked noise, eyes going round and mouth opening in a silent scream, the woman fell forward,  landing in Kagome's arms. Dark crimson instantly soaked into the miko's stained garments as she inched backwards, hands shaking from the effort to try and drag the body to safety from the hail of bullets that drowned out all other sounds._

_Heedless of the miko's strife, another hail of gunshots and explosions went off, this time making the ground shake badly enough for Kagome to loose footing and drop her quarry. The village woman landed next to her in a heap of limbs, unseeing eyes boring into Kagome’s own. Her heart lurched into her throat, a choking noise escaping her lips as she ducked behind a pair of broken barrels to escape the next volley of bullets._

 

_As the shooting seemingly went on forever and the stench of gunpowder threatened to have her vomit, Kagome looked at the dead villager, heart pounding, hands fisted at her sides._

 

_“Why doesn’t it ever end?” Kagome wept as she heard another scream in the distance._

 

 _Her heart fell, but she could not, would not, let any more die. Summoning courage taken from the experience of fighting Naraku, she slowly stood and with a silent “yosh!”_ _drew her_ _bow from her back, calling upon the reiki she had inherited. Using the powers as a sort of homing beacon, the woman let go of a brightly glowing arrow. The dead woman’s vacant expression seared into her retina, Kagome shouted defiantly, firing arrow after arrow towards the gun users hidden in the bushes and between the trees on the outskirts of the village._

_Kagome refused to allow herself to feel pity as some of the attackers cried out, many of them nonly injured by_ _the arrow, their comrades quickly rushing forward to remove them from the battlefield._

_“Armour”, her mind supplied, “of course! Reiki only works on demons.. ugh!"_

_Growling, the miko was once again forced to crouch as the soldiers reloaded and reformed, sending another spray of bullets her way._

_Kagome heart pounded painfully as she noticed the village had gone eerily silent, besides the firing of guns, she heard no sounds of fighting, no screams or crying._

_This is bad, her mind chanted, as she cradled the bow to her chest, waiting for the bulletrain to stop so she could shoot the last couple of arrows._

_All of a sudden, Kagome felt a familiar aura approaching. She clutched her bow to the point of her knuckles cracking in response. Emerging from behind a ruined house, crawled the village’s oldest miko, Kaede. Kagome quickly went over to help the older woman settle next to her, snarling at the priestess much like a dog would snarl over a denied meal, voice laced with desperation and deep fear as she grabbed a hold of the older priestess'  left sleeve._

_“We can't hold this position, Kaede-baba, what are you doing here?! You should be fleeing with the others, someone has to help the elderly and sickly! Not to mention Rin and the other youths!”_

_'_ Where are you, Inuyasha!' _Kagome's mind added in desperation as she breathed out her mouth to avoice inhaling to foul stench of gunpowder and blood. As she was about to stand, another hailstorm of bullets pierced the huts and small houses all around her, one bullet even whistling past her side-bangs. Hissing, Kagome made sure to keep the old woman out of sight with sheer strength that stemmed from massive adrenaline overload._

_“Aye, ye said I should, bu' there is no sight of Inuyasha, and there's...”_

_The old woman's words were suddenly cut of by a gasp, followed by the lead priestess slumping onto Kagome.  The modern woman ‘oofed’ as Kaede's full weight were all of a sudden draped all over her._

_A spike of fear broke loose deep within her chest, the sort of fear that came only with the realisation of..._

_“Kaede? KAEDE!” she cried out, not caring if anyone heard her, shaking the older woman._

_Kagome's heart pounded furiously as another wave of adrenaline hit, granting her the strength to grab a hold of her mentor, and turning her on her back to check for injuries. Bile rose at the back of her throat as she noticed the bloodstains spreading from the left shoulder, but there was no time to examine Kaede any further as the monotomy of bullets suddenly changed to the telltale sound of footsteps_ _._

_Kagome grit her teeth, bit back the tears and moved to look for the advancing soldiers, still trying to keep Kaede upright while simultaneously trying to plot a safe escape route for the two._

_“Inuyasha where are you!?” she cried as she shook the injured miko once again.“Kaede-baba? Kaede please, we have to go, we can't stay here. This place is overrun, we have to find Inuyasha..”_

 

_“Aye, me knows” The elderly miko muttered and nodded faintly, putting one hand above her chest, making Kagome's heart race even faster. "Me chest hurts, wait  a second"_

_Why hadn’t she attended medical school? She had no education in modern medicine, and back home she could have called an ambulance or googled, or whatever, but right now.. her mentor was bleeding out on her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She hadn’t even learned to heal anything larger than scrapes and smaller cuts. Reaching out with her reiki, Kagome struggled to keep the elder miko’s beating regularly. The priestess groaned once more and as the footsteps came ever closer, crawled to a half crouch._

_“Let's go!” the elder hissed out behind gritted teeth, and with surprising strength, pulled Kagome along._

_Kagome licked her lips as the two of them moved away from the spot they’d huddled at, sig-sacking between the broken houses and debris, alternating between crawling and madly running. They fled towards the fields, crouching low as they headed towards Inuyasha’s Forest. Kagome had taught most of the villagers that if something happened, they were to meet up by the well, and she prayed to whatever kami that heard her, that the villagers had taken those lessons to heart._

_Despite the occasional storm of bullets, the early guns and rifles were not very accurate._

 

_“Small mercies” Kagome thought as they waded through a seemingly endless maze of rice plants._

 

 _They managed to get to the other side without being hit. T_ _he edge of Inuyasha's forest was littered with bodies, ground painted scarlet, mud slippery from copious amounts of blood._

 

 _Kagome felt bile rising at the back of her throat, but forced it down. She had a mission, a quest, and she would_  not  _fail._

 

_Just as they were to find cover by the Goshinboku tree, a couple of soldiers wearing samurai armour but wielding rifles, appeared. Shouting to their comrades, the armoured squad of men started loading their weapons with an efficiency that had Kagome's heart thundering in her ears. Hissing, the younger miko forced her mentor to quickly dive behind a tree, narrowly missing being hit by the volley of bullets that followed. As the knells of the rifles died down, the stench of gunpowder permeated the place, making Kagome's eyes water. Blinking away the tears from the cloud caused by the powder, she saw her chance as the men shouted in old Japanese to one another to search for Kaede and her. The modern woman saw her chance as a man ran past her in the mist, turning her focus towards her injured mentor, trying to make the feudal priestess move._

_“I can't” the elder miko groaned out, legs wobbling, hands shaking as they clutched at the fabric above the kosode's neckline._

_Kagome's heart raced to the point of pain as a sharp nail of fear trickled down her back, each man passing them by a hair's breadth having her almost hyperventilating. Refusing to give up on the stubborn old miko, Kagome lightly shook the priestess to make her point._

_“You have to get up," she whispered with a hiss, "the gunpowder smoke's hiding us, but it'll clear soon so we have to move! Come on, we gotta run, find the others and ...”_

_But the older priestess swatted away her helping hands, cutting her off mid- sentence with a stern glare._

_“I **can't** get up, Kagome. Me chest hurts, feels like I can't breathe- and.. ye know where to go. Find,” Kaede coughed into her stained kosode sleeve, “Inuyasha. Tell him that the war has reached beyond edo, that he _has _to talk to his brother. As the lord of the west, Sesshoumaru can send aid.”_

_Just as Kagome opened her mouth to argue, the priestess doubled over in a coughing fit. Kagome felt the back of her throat turn sticky and dry as a thick cloud of dark smoke started spreading, quickly overpowering the haze of gunpowder. Eyes widening, her miko-senses practically tingling with a bad feeling, Kagome hastily stood and rushed to try to gaze beyond the trees surrounding them, cover be damned. Heart pounding, hands perspiring, she looked around for the source of the thick smoke spreading throughout the forest. The men seemed to have disappeared to somewhere, but as she reached the edge of the woods she found the grim reason why. Her mouth went slack with horror as she gazed down at the orange and red flames reaching towards the skies like one big painting having been splashed onto too much paper. Their small farming village... had been set ablaze._

Why? _What had such a remote, peaceful village such as theirs done to deserve this much meaningless destruction? Was it a shogunate's show of power? A youkai's grab for land? Greed?_

 

_**¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨** _

Kagome lost her mentor that day, but worse than that… she felt like she had lost what little youthful innocence and happiness that had remained since before arriving in the Sengoku Jidai. 

 

However, she should have known that their village burning to the ground and Kaede dying wasn't the worst life had to offer. The chaos and genocide that followed were ten times worse. News spread quickly that she the lord of the West's ward, Rin, had been injured, in the attacks. What followed was years upon years of endless slaughter that soon involved all the corners of Japan The north took advantage and invaded the west, the west fought them off meanwhile warring with the south who in their turn tried to conquer the east. It was a genocide unlike any other. The Sengoku Jidai went from a relatively unimportant, peaceful era to one of death and destruction. 

 

And then the world turned even crueler. As Kagome fought each day to heal as many patients as she could, to treat as many people as she could, to find homes for as many orphans as she could meanwhile spreading what she knew of modern medicine... Inuyasha and Sango were slain in battle. Shortly afterwards Miroku was sucked into his own wind tunnel, disappearing from existence and Kagome's life. Shippo vanished and no matter how much she asked around or sent ravens, no news of her adoptive son ever emerged after his disappearance.

At that point Kagome's heart and mind simply turned off. After the deaths of her two best friends, Kagome was left to fend for their six orphaned kids, shedding the skin of Kagome Higurashi of modern Japan, donning the mantle of the Shikon no Miko. Burying herself in her unending quest to help as many people as possible, Kagome Higurashi became healer of the common folk, rumours of her benevolent nature and gifts of healing spreading far and wide. But Kagome never slept unless she passed out, never resting unless she fainted.

 

**¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨**

 

Unseeing eyes gaze up towards the tree tops once again as more rain keep pouring down heavy black lashes. Dull midnight tresses plaster themselves to a pale face, lips set in a thin line, the fine lines beneath the miko's eyes so prominent they seemingly garner more water than the rest of the face.

 

It had taken Kagome so little time to lose everyone she knew and loved, and yet so long to truly get to know her new friends, trust in the people around her, wholly embracing her fate as a reincarnated miko in an era not her own.

 

As she stares up into the canopy turned slightly orange and red, she wonder when she really turned into this… broken shell of a person? Was it when Inuyasha and Sango died? Earlier? What reason did she have to keep going besides the orphans she'd ended up raising? Her heart was frozen in time, each minute spent praying for every casualty, each war torn family to mend as these pointless wars and dominance shows of the youkai and human lords of feudal Japan raged ever on.

 

Looking back at it now, had it been the right thing to stay? What choices had she made to cause all of this pointless destruction and countless of deaths seeing how she could not recall any books talking about a genocide taking place in the Sengoku Jidai nor was there ever any mentioning of the endless wars raging between the lords of every corner of Japan. Was her choices somehow responsible for the chaotic state feudal Japan was in? She knew she was an anomaly, she belonged to the future. Had the state of the world somehow been sent off kilter because of her unnatural existence here? Had she truly done the right thing when she gave up ever seeing her parents or sibling again?

 

Was this truly to be her lot in life? To accept that she, a reincarnated miko that wasn't even supposed to exist, would never experience love, marry, have children of her own? Had she been hasty in deciding to stay in an era where everyone seemed to die in a death more gruesome than the last where men and youkai ran around wielding giant swords, used magic or carry rifles to willy nilly take people’s lives?

 

Was that really the life she had pictured herself living when she grew up?

 

Maybe she had never been a girl with high hopes for the future...especially not since coming to the sengoku Jidai, but even the few hopes and dreams she had once secretly harboured, had long since shattered. The jewel might be gone, and with it, the world's greatest enemy and burden.. But where had that left her as everyone died, and she remained?

 

Slightly turning her head, the weary miko lowered her gaze, heart throbbing with longing of her friends and family, hands shaking from the effort to keep from crying. It wouldn't do to return to the village looking like she'd taken a dip in a sea of poisonous ivy.

 

"Inuyasha.. Sango.. Shippo... mama... Souta.." the raven haired woman whispered brokenly, each heartbeat a wave of homesickness.

 

If only she could speak with her mother or brother. If only the well could open up one last time.. If only her friends were still alive... why was she still here and they were not? Why was she so special?

 

Barely noticing the cloud following each exhale, Kagome could no longer stifle her sobs. Lowering her head, tears burst forward as she wept in the silence of Inuyasha's forest, allowing the downpour to muffle the broken noises.

 

Wrapping her arms around herself once more was all she could do to not break down into a hysterical crying fit.

 

It would seem she did nothing but grieve for that which she could not have these days.


End file.
